Horizon Fireless

left at the feet
of my own decisions
the leap I chose to take
proved to be the ultimate
descrescendo
of my progress

A set back
of the normal life I feared
dreaded
drug my feet against the grain
denied
declared war toward

The same decision
I prided myself upon
I loath
I reap backward tread on
the steps
toward the yellow brick road

I attempt to catch up on
reality
family
roots
foundation
I have none of them
I know nothing of them

I swallow my experience
digest the hardships
believe that it was selfish
and flimsy
reflective of myself
so I chased it
like the horizon
since I was 19
gasped at my loss
and meandered toward more

I am cursed with conscientiousness
I wish to be free

So you got up and left him
Sitting alone
Instead of just dealing
And coming back home

So what you got now
Besides a big empty hole
You fill with the same things
You lack in your soul

Oppressions are plenty
You harbor them well
Give me the details
You’ll make my mind swell

Studdering Stammering
Hammering down
Waves once crashing only
Are stifling me now

From saying the reasons
I left you in doubt
My conscience won’t let me
Cast you aside
Or take away matches
That burned all your pride

You’re a joker
a realist
who ‘s pregnant with excuses
leaching and pawning
all that he uses

reaching out when you’re
desperate and not when you love
taking for granted
who your thinking of

Your swinging your balance
In pendulum style
And sinking it slowly
Breaking ground tiles

Sipping the ashes that
You choose to judge
Tasting the stubborn
But you will not budge

You stay as I leave you
But

I was left to leave you
And spend my nights here
At least I have wholeness
And don’t feel impaired

So Im fighting a dragon
That I cannot see
And reeping his fire
That I cannot breathe

He’s flailing
And casting

Queen of the castle
Falls against the blade
She chases me throughout my dreams
And through her masquerades
Does she haunt me just because
I came from all her fibers
Or because she thought it well
to pass on her addiction fires
I cannot put them out
I don’t want to live without them
I fear the day that I may be
I boring doubt and pout-er

She leads me on
And keeps me there
IM a prisoner of her reigns
I wish she would let go of me
But I came from her own veins

Although she tends to give in the most
She knows she holds the power
She knows I want to know the things
She knows will make her sour


Let me tell you something
I used to sit in my room and juggle
Poetry with word play
And truly “know” that it would be
On someone’s wall someday
I don’t feel it to be a fantasy
I feel it to be a denied reality
I came here five years ago
Lived with someone awful
Had unfortunate amounts of time to
Hope and dream and SING
Without consequence
Unattached to adulthood
A realm everyone lives in for a time,
A realm where anything is possible.
Then you live in your car for two weeks
And realize that with true effort
It matters not

Secluded; Refuted; disputed

Well she finally came home tonight
I wonder where she was
Did she stay cause that’s who she is
Or did she stay gone just because

Well I wonder what shes doin
And I wonder who shes with
I hope that im not proving
That she has to plead the 5th

But the house is oh so silent
When she leaves me all alone
Im sure shes deep in conversation
Tellin how she moved here on her own

And how no body has helped her
They’ve all deepened up her debt
Until the hole tries to fill now
Is pent up with regret

You see she summoned all her demons
And they came to cheer her on
They still keep her captive until
she realizes shes wrong

I was 19 or so
and u came outta no where

gallavanting record
speeds
riding a white
horse on its steed

capturing moments
i keep to this day

showing perspectives
that should be on display

denying the hopelessness
of God's given world
binding your conscience
to accepting its twirl

Pregnant with embezzled
bottled up rage
some stolen some constant
most kept in a cage

You masked it with medicine
inside Houdini's box
comparing the sizes
of Jesus' lox

Comparing what you know
you to what you want
Dodging the whole fact
that I made you doubt

Temptations are disguised
in sequins and gold
before you know you could
your whole soul you've sold

To the woman with storm cloud hair
and passions that cease
the gracious impedment
you had on a leash

Cherished your decision
accepted the loss
gathered your regrets
chalked it up to cost